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Wednesday, June 2, 2010

A need to rediscover my self....

Where to begin with this blog.. I have so many things on my mind today.

I am yearning for some changes.. I think I have been loosing parts of the self I used to be and it is to the point I don't recognize the person I am right now.. I have been trying to change that and recapture things that bring me joy and peace again. Part of that awakening was because I had a friend in my life again who also shared some things with me I had packed away. Recently I have been bringing my crystals back into my life and meditating again.. My former self was less into a structured lifestyle... And I have been seeing changes in my attitude since I brought back some of my former selfs rituals.. But, I am longing for more change...

I have become discontent in my surroundings... Yes, I still have the sun and the warmth here in Phoenix, AZ... And for the most part it is beautiful here most of the year through. I think it is apartment living or the vibe in this building lately.. There was a glimmer of hope of maybe some friends moving in to the building and that was a high expectation to put on someone.. No one person can be your hope.. Hope, Joy, and Peace are jobs done from within... My friends found that relocation was a better fit for them and I wish them well on their journey.

What I need is a reinvention of who I am and to find myself... I am not my former job, I am not miss suburban girl, but who have I evolved into? What is the current state of my being? I need to figure out what will make me happy and bring me joy again. I need to find peace and be content with who I am and my surroundings.. Does that mean a relocation for me as well? I need to look inward and start listening to my soul's voice again.. This is a process I need help with.. Where to begin? I know bringing back parts of myself I have shelved and incorporating that into my life tweaked of course to fit my beliefs as they have evolved. But, what do I want and what will bring back the joy in my life again.. Only I can soul search for those answers.. But, I need help on the process.. Any suggestions on an inward journey?